10 things not to say to your loved one
Stop putting ultimatums, leave the past alone and, finally, forget about the ex.
1. This is all your fault!
Charges will not bring you or your partners. Even if a loved one is really to blame for the situation. Be smarter and do not add fuel to the fire. Better later, when the passions subside, calmly talk and find out who is to blame and what to do.
2. But he/she always did it for me.
Never, remember, never in conversation do not mention the former. Neither good nor evil – nothing at all.
A partner may have a reasonable question: have those relationships ended, if you continue to remember them constantly? Endless comparisons with someone “ideal” (in fact, not) will drive a loved one into complexes and neuroses. And this, in your opinion, love?
If you still want to change the behavior of your partner, try more civilized methods, such as heart-to-heart talk or soft beliefs.
3. I have not heard more stupidity in my life.
If you entered into a relationship consciously, then you probably imagine the intellectual level of a partner. Therefore, you should not scornfully or mockingly speak about his absurd – only in your opinion – ideas and thoughts. It will only lead to the fact that your loved one closes, goes into himself and stops sharing something with you at all.
You can tactfully and delicately indicate to a partner the illogicality of thought, and in response to a joke that you heard in elementary school, you just have to smile. In the end, the man tried as best he could to please you.
4. You can not do anything normally
These things out loud can not be uttered at all. Yes, and about yourself try not to think so. Thank you for trying, praise for your efforts. And if something does not work out – it does not matter, together you will find a way out of the situation and a solution to the problem.
And if you knew in advance that the partner could not cope with the case, why did they charge him? Failure is degrading to both of you.
5. But I warned!
It is generally beyond good and evil.
Do not turn into an evil monster and forget about the existence of this phrase forever. Is it so important for you to show your rightness and to be the one who has the last word? Nothing good will give you this, believe me.
Let your partner make mistakes and learn the right lessons from them. Your task is to support and love, and not to expose and triumph. Smile and tell your loved one that the next time he will surely succeed.
6. If you loved me, you would never …
Putting ultimatums and conditions is humiliating and dishonest. Do not manipulate your loved one and do not put it before a choice: you or something else. Constant pressure on the partner will lead to an explosion. The man kisses and sends you to hell.
Try to find compromises and take into account the desires and needs of the second half. After all, you are pleased when people respect your needs?
7. Do not wear it
It is not easy to reconcile with someone else’s wardrobe.
However, you will have to do this or find ways to mildly influence in order to preserve the relationship. For example, her husband’s worn t-shirt may suddenly disappear from the closet, and a stylish new dress will take its place. It is even easier with women: it’s enough to go shopping with your beloved and give the go-ahead (and money) to buy only what you like.
In any case, always explain your position and strive for compromise. Do not like too short skirts? Let the wife carry them at home or on some one day of the week.
8. My mother did it differently.
This is an option for men. Do not try to blurt out this, especially if the beloved is not in the best mood. Otherwise, you risk hearing advice to collect things and immediately go to live with your mom. This is a dead end version of the development of relations.
This is simply not necessary. It is better to gently teach your wife “mother’s” recipes of dishes or show how you used to iron shirts. That is, as they once stroked mother.
9. In bed, you’re a complete zero.
If yesterday’s passionate lover is exhausted, do not rush to throw angry accusations in your face and demand African passion here and now. Situations are different, and a person could become exhausted at work. It’s nice to take a critical look at yourself. Perhaps you should pull up your body, get rid of a beer belly or buy sexy underwear.
If you initially knew about the low sexual temperament of the second half, do not say that you entered into a relationship with hope and thoughts “appetite comes with eating.” You can try – delicately and unobtrusively – to stir up your loved one and show him new facets of sex. But to force, coerce and insult is the way to break.
10. There are some losers in your family.
Family is holy. Even if the partner does not get tired of throwing mud at his relatives, you are absolutely forbidden to do this. You have become part of a family with difficult relationships, so it’s much smarter and safer to just stick to neutrality. And in any case, do not let yourself be drawn into the undercover games. For you, they will come out sideways, since relatives will support each other in any case. Nothing forces former enemies to rally as a new common enemy.